Last summer I met a girl with lovely eyes and I got her phone number. Our first meeting was in a park, and I thought that was rather nice and that maybe next time she’d like to go to a bar or a restaurant. But she didn’t. And not the third or fourth time either. In fact only once or twice through a summer-long slow courtship did we do anything else. By October I was a convert, both to her and to sitting on benches in the parks of Kyiv.

Coming from the UK, I used to think sitting on park benches was an activity for old people with nothing to do or for tired mothers watching their offspring eat dirt and forage for cigarette butts. But here, the activity is much more democratic. Probably because its free and people don’t mind if you kiss a lot. In fact on park benches in Kyiv kissing seems almost expected. But the most amazing thing about the benches here is how many there are and how nice they seem to be. If somebody put benches like these - heavy, well made and painted - in a park in London they would last fifteen minutes before homeless people fell asleep on them, glue sniffers scarred them with records of passion or drunk teens set them alight because, well, because teens like fires. But we’re luckier here, and you should really take advantage of it. Whether it’s a date, an afternoon dedicated to summer reading, or just a quiet place to think, here’s my list of the best places to sit outside in the capital.

Before I begin, I should note that for this Best Of I’m considering only benches in proper parks in the city center. This means the old botanical gardens are out, as are the benches outside your house, in the square in front of the Ivan Franko Theater and even the rather nice benches with the lion-headed armrests outside the Institute of Physical Culture. Also excluded are the lovely old benches that line the pavements and terraces of Khreshchatyk, and Prorizna that earned such a unique place in history when they formed the walls of the tent camp during the Orange Revolution. Next time you sit on one of these remind yourself that once upon a time it was slated to be the first line of defense against the charge of the riot police that - fortunately - never came.

Shevchenko park, in front of the livid red university, was once a dusty parade ground. Now it’s a level, formally laid out park with dozens of heavy, comfortable benches along the wide walkways. There are kiosks selling beer and snacks, pancakes from the stand outside O’Panas restaurant, a public toilet (not recommended unless you’re desperate) and an X-factor: benches with chess. Play, watch, be a chess groupie. The one downside to this park is you seem more at the mercy of panhandlers and drunken “new best friends.” Once my girlfriend and I consented - after much hassling - to hear one character’s poem. The poem was about the fact that he needed money. Lovely.

If you’re trying to pretend you’re not in the city center then the Botanical Gardens are for you. You can sit on the trunks of fallen trees and the ground falls so steeply from the road that sometimes it’s even hard to hear the traffic.

At the other end of the Chervonoarmiyska-Khreshchatyk axis, above European Square and Poshtova Ploshcha, is Volodymyrska Park. One end meets the top of the funicular and here the benches are beauties: ergonomically curved and heavy, beautifully varnished, dozens of closely fitted slats saving you from nasty pinches to your projecting or sagging bits. You can sit and watch drunk teens competing to injure themselves with the most flair on the children’s playground or further along simply enjoy the view of Podil, the river bend, and the astonishing stretch of treetops between you and the Left Bank. Further along, behind Ukrainsky Dom, there are views of the arch and the philharmonic annoyingly accompanied by traffic noise.

On the other side of European square begins Mariyinsky park. Up the steps from the arch, benches ring a water fountain, and four or five of them face across the river to the Left Bank which, in the distance and in the right light, looks pale and interesting below its summery yellow fog of pollution. Further along, across the “lovers bridge” between Dynamo Stadium and the top of the riverbank, benches have been dragged across to the railing, getting you closer to the view and giving you a place to put your feet up, letting you really take a load off in comfort.

Beyond these Mariyinsky park opens out. There is an open-air theater, where most evenings you can be entertained by dancers practicing swing and rock-and-roll on the little stage. Between the theater and the palace, crisscrossing paths are studded with benches. Here there is no view beyond the slim trunks of trees and the elegant palace wall made lovely by sunset, but at the end of the day when the air between the planes and horse chestnuts is thickened and tinted smoky blue by dusk you don‘t need much more.

In front of the palace, benches ring the big old fountain on its slight rise and on the weekend you’re entertained by children riding ponies, driving electric cars, and, if you’re really lucky, annoying a sad-looking camel. The palace terrace is beautifully paved and lit by old lamps like a little piece of Paris, but given a uniquely Ukrainian edge by the tents of protestors in front of the Rada. At the edge of this terrace there is a curve of wall set with a bench top and a wrought iron back which, though uncomfortable, looks very pretty. Here your only problem is a lack of refreshment, meaning you have to queue at the little gastronom at the park’s main entrance for your beer and chips.
But the best bench, the best bench in the whole of central Kyiv, is in Volodymyrska Hirka park, on the corner directly above the statue of St. Vladimir himself. Here the view - of the river (including the lunatics climbing up the supports of the pedestrian bridge), the trees and the islands, the Left Bank and the arch - is sensational, and made even better because the bench sits on a little platform four steps high. Its advantage is completed by having a roof. In fact, this bench is actually nicer than most apartments I’ve lived in. The only problem of course is that lots of other people also know this, so if you really want a spot at the end of the day, it’s best to bribe a bored babushka to mind it for you. Buy her the biggest bag of sunflower seeds you can, and ask her to guard it till your moment of need. Good luck.

by Joe Field, Journalist